Tit Patrol Maximumrocknroll Review

Ah, yes, the Tit Patrol review from the "demo" section of the January 2009 Max Rock, because those losers turned over our mad-pro looking disc and saw it was blue underneath so it's apparently a demo. Now you don't have to buy that rag.

"I can't explain why it's totally OK when the Queers sing about the sizes of various women's breasts, but it's completely unnacceptable when a handful of teenage boys from Delaware raise the banner of repressed and mangled male patriarchal sexuality high (hopefully tongue-in-cheek) in an effort to appeal to all the ignorant punk boys of the world (who, as some of us know, are a dime a dozen anyway.) TIT PATROL. Jeez, I know it seems unfair to rip on their name so much. It's a relief there aren't any bizarre tracks about girlfriends or chicks at shows (with tits), which is exactly what I expected.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, the tracks are recorded very well. It seems they're going for that very special Queers sound and attitude, but unfortunately are ending up with a mood of dudely absurdity equal to that of the Bouncing Souls. Except for that song "One of My Moods" which actually sort of rules, and, through very nice guitaring and vocals, achieves that classic Lookout! pep and bounce. They also manage to portray a larger spectrum of emotion and experience than the hated Bouncing Souls, ranging from anal foot-fucking (on the first track "Butt Foot") to dealing with invasion of space ("You're Givin' me the Heebie Jeebies") to mental health (in the songs "Daily Lobotomy" and "One of My Moods". (Helen) (11-song CD, no lyrics)"

This moron and her logical fallacies of review... like most creeps who review the TIT, they can't wait to listen to the record before the start their review. As you can see, the whole first paragraph is what she expected out of us due to our name. For one, we are heir apparents to the Queers, and all y'all are just demo reviewers for a magazine that ruled until ten years ago. So, it is okay for us to do whatever the F we want. Then, we aren't teenagers, and we hate so-called idiot punk boys that spurned Helen Review Lady. I won't dis her too hard, but it is telling that after listening to "Butt Foot", a song about a medical condition, she made it into something dirty. Stupid Californian. Still, who ever thought our silly little pop-punk record would be accused of "raising the banner of repressed and mangled male patriarchal sexuality high." Hilarious and insightful, bitch.