State F@%#in' Champs!!

I knew you could do it!! Yesterday at the Delaware State Cheer Championships held at Dover Downs, my East Coast Nitros Bombshells Team finished first in their division! Last year several Bombshells jumped ship to the new and thusly hated First State Cheernastics Gym and formed a team which refused to compete against the Nitros in qualifiers, instead skeevin' around at less publicized and easier qualifiers in order to compete at States. Well, their underhandedness did not pay off, and the Nitros and my Nikki are State Champs, just like my man Troy Bolton and his East High Wildcats, or Jake Thomas, "Mean" Willie Dean, and Karl Dattbarn and their Schenectady High Patriots. Next week Pennsylvania gets less worse when the Nitros take it up to Hershey Park to show those prehistoric bitches how we do things downtown! (Doctor Peter Venkman.)