I'm sick and sitting here and pissed off and thinking about people who I wanna fight. Top two: Jorge Posada and Kanya West. Did you see that Yankees/Blue Jays brawl? It's good cuz it gets us back to remembering to vehemently hate the Yankees. Why, I had even routed for them over the hated Red Sox this season, due to the success of those Beantown Femmes in recent times. There is no team I hate more than the Red Sox and I wish their curse was eternal. Even more (way more) that I hate those Sox do I hate Red Sox Nation, the conglomeration of assholes, only some of which hail from Boston, who grasp at the same kid of moral high ground that I do with my Phillies, except I achieve it! But after last night's fiasco, summed up as such: two Toronto batters were hit by pitches, so you know what's gotta happen right? Jays pitcher Jesse Carlson threw behind Yankees batter Posada and Posada had some words, like "Don't do that!" or something. Jorge worked a walk and upon scoring on a Yankee double he clipped Carlson who was backing up the play at the plate. Just gave him a little shoulder, like in the hallway at Sallies. And like in the hallway at Sallies, Carlson faces him as asks "WTF!" So Posada charges him and the benches clear, but not in that great baseball kinda way, like shoving your opponent around and what not, but real, mean, street fightin'. Classic Yankees Class. Your pitcher hits two guys, one of you will get hit. Be a man, be a ball player. GOD DAMN I WANT THOSE YAKEES IN THE WORLD SERIES!
And King Douchebag of America, Mr. Kanye West. I KNOW y'all saw him grab the mike from that cutie-talented Taylor Swift at the MtV VMA's. Remember when she sang the National Anthem last year in the World Series? Reading's Own!! And she played guitar along with it and it was by far the best Anthem of the Series, topping both Hall and Oates, as well as the Backstreet Boys (down in Tampa, of course). Anyway she was the first country artist to win Best Female Performance or whatevs and asshole just goes up on stage, grabs the mike and exclaims that Beyonce has made one of the best videos of all time. All right, I don't care, but here is what I woulda done. Before he said three words I woulda grabbed that mike outta his hand, told him that nobody gives a fuck about his oppinion, that the stage is for musicians who can play something other than a computer and that his is a gay fish. But I'm pretty sure that if Tit Patrol or anyone with a band or a dick or over the age of 18 was up their he woulda been too scared and just blogged about it later. What a douchebag!
Ari Wallach (TEAM HUMAN)
7 months ago