Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Do you like tv? No? WTF's wrong with you? Are you a commie? Remember when you could hash out commies simply by tap-dancing around if they had any interest in baseball, and if not: PINKO! Now no one's a commie and everyone's accused of being a socialist. Like that's not preferred! See, I am a punk, and hence hate all capitalist pig-dogs, Ronald Raygun, Mags Thatcher and their slimy ilk. I wish someone was really trying to get socialism off the ground in the U.S. and A., even in little steps. I haven't had medical insurance since I was in school, and I can't even get Blue Cross cause they say my "pre-existing conditions" make me a risk, that is that I did some time in the Looney Bin and was on anti-depressants for a couple years, so like, right now I am really sick, a little dope sick (sike) and I got a cold too, so I treat myself with NyQuil and bananas. Meanwhile, our friends in the 20 Belows from Denmark just roll in and get taken care of at the clinic or what have you, all on the government, but a lot of American Idiots would tell you that they are lying and they want to undermine the Wild West Free-Market Cluster Fuck that is American economics. I wish a motherfucker would! But that's not important. In his "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs" Chuck Klosterman argues that anything important is inevitably a cliche and probably doesn't reflect reality, but in (not) doing so it actually does reflect reality, which is not very real at all. Which brings us to my pick for Fall TV watching, Fox's "Glee."

"Glee" seems to be a spectacularly named hour dramedy meant to capitalize on a very underestimated market: adults who love High School Musical, i.e. Me. It's about a high school Spanish teacher who, upon the firing of an underwhelming Glee Club sponsor for sexual misconduct, inexplicably takes over and dreams of returning it to the glory days of 1993, when he graduated and the Glee Club was the most popular clique/activity in school, the arbitor of cool, if you will. His nemesis is the intimidating Cheer coach who's team brings in big bucks for the school and hence is treated very well. The club is initially made up of the school's arty freaks, a kid in a wheelchair, a gay dude, a big black girl, a stuttering Asian chick, and the star, a unique and uber-cute young lady who knows she's a star but is also aware that her school hates her for being different, and probably being better. Recruitment for the club goes atrociously, leading to the teacher (Will) planting weed on the hunky and popular quarterback with the secretly amazing voice (Fin), thus blackmailing him into joining. Hence, just like in HSM, the status quo is put on it's ear, and cutie singer girl (Rachel) gains confidence if not popularity and sets her sights on winning Fin over to her side of "reality."

Fin is a great character. He is kinda dumb, but it's probably an act, and was touched by music, particularly classic pop rock like Journey while spending time with his mom's boyfriend, a rocker dude who paints dead lawns green. He dates the head cheerleader (Quinn, like in "Daria") who is also president of the abstinence club and only lets him dry-hump her, or as they call it "grinding" and the only way he can keep from cumming early is to revisit a shocking memory from his past, when he was practicing driving and violently running over a mailman. In the second episode Rachel woos him and they share a kiss (a hot one at that) and the mailman rolling over his car and shattering his windshield came a little late. The second episode ends with Quinn and her cheer pals succesfully auditioning for the club to get in a sabotage Rachel's plans and dreams.

It's alot like HSM in that people sing their feelings, but it's always a pop song of almost any genre (Journey, Kanye, Grease, etc...) and it is way more surreal and raunchy than Disney could ever be. It is sexy and fun, and we want Will to get a divorce from his lying wife who doesn't have music running through her veins like Fin and Will and Me. Very much High School Musical meets Judd Apatow comedic sensibilities a la Freaks and Geeks. Watch and love, unless you're a commie... how 'bout them Yankees?

"Glee" Wednesday @ 9pm on Fox.

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