Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Revolutionary Blog

Blogs are an interesting thing. Well most "blogs" themselves are actually very far from interesting. Parodies of themselves, tracing the inanities of some loser's day to day operations... you know, "Today I got up, had a piece of toast, brushed my teeth...". Nobody cares! (Unless there's sexy pics to go along.) The thing that most average bloggers fail to realize is that old journalism trick: you gotta have an angle. You don't need talent, skill, tenacity, grammar, or in fact a topic, but, no matter what you write about, SPIN it. Or don't, being boring is also art sometimes. But anyway... blogs and blogspot are interesting because you can really customize every aspect of your page and make it, in some shadow of a way, represent you. And today, I have revolutionized, nay perfected, my Danthology. How? You ask... Simple, I turned of the #%@^ comments! That's right bitches, who watches the watch-Dan? NO-body!

Seriously, every time I finished another masterpiece of insight calling out jerks on the grounds of racism, sexism, homophobia, bein' a Mets fan, or any other such crimes against humanity, I gotta sweat it out waiting for and eventually receiving so-called "comments" from the peanut gallery, telling me that current Republicans aren't Skrullish sell-outs to America because I used the wrong form of "their/there," or that the only reason to vote for John McCain wasn't racial or intelligence based. Why else? (Rhetorical!) I never even addressed the socialism claims. I never knew how effective that would end up being to incite fear in people. People who didn't graduate high school, or did a long time ago, who maybe don't know how to type "socialism wiki" into their tool bar. Here it comes... wait for it... they turned socialism into a new code word for "black."

Anyway, your opinion is not what this blog is about. I don't care what you have to say to enlighten or coerce me. I willingly spend time in other reality tunnels, I dig the other side of the coin, don't worry 'bout ol' Dan. This is about baseball, punk rock, Wilmington pride, and "liberal" truth. Truth that is too weird for most people. So, if you disagree with me, here's what you do... keep your mouth shut. Read me or don't, I don't wanna hear about it.

The Management