Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Chuck Taylor All-Stars

The absolute best smell in the world is a new pair of Chuck Taylor All-Stars. For serious, it's the canvas. No other shoe, with the exception of perhaps Keds and true Bobos, could compare to the life-affirming aroma that is some new Chucks. Since 1917 Chucks have been the shoe of choice for the cool and very cool alike. I wear the All-Blacks, P.F. Flyer styles. Only hi-tops, lo-tops are for hippies. I believe it was Ghostface Killah who told y'all about Tan-Tops, Aqua-Tops, etc... Toddy has a pair of super-sweet air-brushed Tit Patrol Chucks that Miz Ashley Tucker had made for him at the One-Stop Hip-Hop Shop on Concord Ave. Timmy has a variety, red, white, green, but he is also known to rock such reputable kicks as Air Force One's and Barkley's. About eighteen years ago they had the bombest Chucks of all - the All-Joker Chucks from the first Batman movie, starring the best Batman of all, Michael Keaton, and the second best Joker of all, Jack Nicholson. They featured a million Neal Adams' Joker faces laughing at the dude you was dunkin' on, and I believe they had purple soles. A little bit ago they came out with Jim Lee drawn Batman Chucks, and recently they got Heath Ledger Joker chucks, which are both very thematically different from the ones from '89, to say the least. About fifteen years ago Ben Weasel would deem a certain color of Chuck's the only cool color and all else for poseurs in the pages of MaximumRocknRoll, causing an uproar from the scene. With the proliferation of on-line shopping and the lack of punk rock, you can get any ol' Chuck any ol' time in any damn ol' color, including Roll-Down Reversible. These days footwear is taken less seriously by most. Not me though, here's what I say:

Hi-tops! Hi-tops! When I'm runnin' from the cops.
Hi-tops! Hi-tops! When my bike chain pops.
The creditor wants me, so does the jailer.
But they can't catch me in my Chuck Taylor Hi-Tops!
Hey! Ho!

Hi-tops! Hi-tops! Keep my feet on the ground.
Hi-tops! Hi-tops! When there's danger all around.
I ain't got nuthin' to worry 'bout at all,
Cause outside my bedroom window Spider-Man's stuck to the wall with Hi- Tops!
Hey! Ho!

Hi-tops! Hi-tops! First we gig and then we cop.
Hi tops! Hi-tops! Dance when the needle drops.
My laces are long and my head is strong,
And no one's gonna catch me now, no no no. Hi-Tops!
Hey! Ho!

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