Who needs first place anyway? Me, that's who. First off, it is common knowledge to all Phils fans that the New York Mets suck. So how do a team that sucks so bad take another series from us? Do we suck too? I know that I don't suck!
Crafty prima-donna Oliver Perez continued to baffle the Phillies, our big hitters coming up with zilch. Chase Utley and Ryan Howard went a combined 0-7, stranding five, and striking out an embarrasing six times. Pat Burrell, Shane Victorino, and Chris Coste each slapped mute singles and Burrell added another outfield assist to his stats, all of which resulted in no runs for Philadelphia. The sole run came off a Jayson Werth dinger in the seventh to tie it, and "Kid Eternity" Jamie Moyer pitched another beautiful seven innings of two hit, one run ball. Unfortunately, is was all for naught when "Hot-Head" J.C. Romero came into the eigth inning, only to start off with a single to Robinson Cancel, in for pitcher of record and Philly-favorite Aaron Heilman. "Goat-Boy" Reyes sacrificed him over, Endy Chavez lined out, and David "Pussy" Wright was intentionally walked to set up a Romero - Carlos Delgado match-up. The results say that Uncle Charlie blew it, when the formally formidable Delgado slammed a double to left field, scoring both men on bass.
What happened next? Mets' closer Billy "Biggest Asshole in Baseball" Wagner came on, getting two quick outs before allowing a single to Chris Coste. Jimmy Rollins comes in to bat for Romero. Interestingly, Rollins was a late scratch from the line-up, much to the NY boo-birds dismay, and back up dude Eric Bruntlett took his place at short stop. Bruntlett was the only Phil to wear his hittin' shoes today, going 3-4 with two doubles, but the impotence of the meat of Philly's order left him there every time. Anyway, Rollins v. Wagner, north v. south, sorta, grooviness v. square, the good guys only a home run away from a tie when Wagner threw one 96 mph fastball that J-Roll grounded to third, forcing out Carlos "Hamster Pie" Ruiz, pinch-running for Coste, at second.
And the hated New York Mets take first place. This one hurt, for that reason and for giving Aaron Heilman (1-3) his first win of the season, and another save to the sickening Billy Wagner (26). Thank god the Philles (54-48) got the floundering Atlanta Braves (48-53) up next for three games back at CBP (I'll be there Friday night), while the Mets (55-47) host the considerable St. Louis Cardinals (57-46). Let's get it back boys.
The Headies (2007-present) Tit Patrol (2005-present) Endless Mike Jambox (2002-2007) Power of IV (1998-2002) Ninja Attak (1995-1998)
Best Team: Philadelphia Phillies Best Bands: The Ramones, Plow United, MC5, The Stooges, New York Dolls, Chuck Berry, The Heartbreakers, The Queers, Screeching Weasel, The Vindictives, Mr. T Experience Best Region: Mid-Atlantic Political Party: Great Ape Society
March 6 @ the Mason Jar - 1901 Harrison Ave. Claymont, DE 19809 - The Headies w/Disco Machine Gun, Lowdown, and Misanthropy - All Ages, $5 goes to Save the Spot!!
March 12 @ New Jersey TBA
March 13 @ the Riff, 1615 Main Street, Port Jefferson, NY - Benefit Show for Long Island Pit Rescue - Tit Patrol w/Hands Like Feet, Fellow Project, the Broosevelts, Critical Condition, Mailbox Baseball, the Young Leaves, Yesterdays's Heroes, Devil Sits Shotgun, The Scutches, Zombie Culture, Canons, Hooliganism, This'll Kill Ya, Common Enemy, Disclosure, Brace Face, Strong Arm Law - 2pm, $10, All Ages
March 14 @ the Mason Jar, 1901 Harrison Avenue, Claymont, DE, 19809 - Tit Patrol w/Disclosure, Ba-Durr!, and TBA - 1pm, Donations Go To Touring Bands, All Ages
March 14 @ the Cube16 Marrows Road, Newark Delaware 19713 - Hot Toddy and the Wilmington Wastoids!! w/Belly Dancers!
March 15 @ 198 Madison, Newark, DE - Tit Patrol w/One Short Fall, Disclosure, Brace Face, Holy Dirt, and Ba-Durr! - 4pm, Donations Go To Touring Bands, All Ages
March 19-21 Tit Patrol Recording @ Second Story Sound w/the Mad Splatter
May 14 @ Rugger's Pub, 40 South 22nd Street, Pittsburgh, PA, 15203 - Tit Patrol w/TBA
May 15 @ Cedar's Lounge, 23 N. Hazel Stree, Youngstown, Ohio 44503 - Tit Patrol w/Johnie 3 - 8pm
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