Gold Gloves and Silver Sluggers

Yet another repeat: Phillies shortstop Jimmy "J-Roll" Rollins and center fielder Shane "the Flyin' Hawaiian" Victorino have been named the National League Rawling's Gold Glove winners at their positions. Major League Baseball, by way of voting by league managers and coaches (though they can not vote for their own players), bestows the Gold Glove on the best fielder in each position in both leagues, and Jimmy has won his third in a row, while Shane has his second.

In the olden days of yore, the Gold Glove was most likely given to the player who committed the fewest errors and most helped his team intangibly with his fine defense. Today, such wacky stats as UZR (Ultimate Zone Rating) and RF (Range Factor) are considered. UZR, developed by FanGraphs, determines the number of runs above or below average a fielder is by combining his rankings in "range runs," which quantifies how well a fielder is able to get to balls hit in his vicinity, and "error runs," which takes into account how many errors a fielder makes compared to an average fielder at the same position on the same amount of balls in play. Range Factor, meanwhile, was first developed in 1977 by statistician Bill James, and it represents the number of successful plays a fielder makes per game by combining putouts and assists and dividing that number by innings played. Sorta confusing, but just a more concrete way to more fairly give out the awards in this (slightly post?)-Money Ball era.

As far as the rest of the league goes, my man Carlos "Chooch" Ruiz was robbed behind the plate with the award going to the Cardinal's catcher Yadier Molina, winning his second straight Gold Glove after being an All-Star and compiling some mind-boggling stats, including an ERA of 3.48 for St. Louis pitching when he's the backstop. Also winning for the Cards is Cy Young candidate Adam Wainwright, taking his first. The Dodger's Orlando "O-Dog" Hudson won it at second base (quit throwing balls into the stands Chase Utley!) and Matt Kemp won one of the three outfield awards. San Diego's Adrian Gonzalez won it a first base, beating Albert "Mr. Fucking Perfect" Pujols and a much improved Ryan "Soul Pole" Howard. Washington's Ryan Zimmerman took home his much-deserved first Gold Glove at third base with popularity contest winner, the Mets' David Wright, having an injury plagued season, because he is a Met. Lastly, the final outfield award went to ex-Phil and current Houston Astro, Michael Bourn. We all love Michael Bourn around here. He was the trade that brought Brad Lidge in as our closer, and he is speedy and dangerous and makes every play. Awesome player.

Over in the Junior Circuit, the Twins' Joe Mauer won at catcher, Yankees Mark "Happy Gilmore" Texiera at first base and Derek Jeter at shortstop, the Tiger's and ex-Phillie Placido "Jawbone" Polanco at second base, the Rays' Eva Longoria at third base, Angels' Torii Hunter, Mariner's Ichiro (of course), and B-More O's Adam Jones(!) took the three Gloves for the outfield, and Mark "Perfect Game" Buehrle won on the mound.

Over on the offensive side, only one Phil brings home any hardware. Second baseman Chase Utley won his fourth consecutive Silver Slugger award. He is the cream of the crop and an old school player, great career so far, great season and post-season. I'm glad he's on our side! In the American League, it was the Blue Jays Aaron Hill, who also won the A.L. Comeback Player of the Year Award. Of course Albert Pujols won it at first base, a very tough position and he won it over two guys with more R.B.I.'s than him... not exactly my credentials. But the Silver Slugger credentials are more varied than those of the Golden Glove. Batting average, runs batted in (my personal fave), home runs, slugging percentage, on base percentage, and on base plus slugging percentage! Which is the most important? Well, Albert led in all of 'em except R.B.I.'s. In the A.L. Mark Texiera has the 2009 matching set in Gold and Silver. Atlanta's Brian McCann won it for catcher, and if he hits off other teams like he hits off the Phillies, he deserves it. No surprise that Minnesota's Joe Mauer takes his third SS for the A.L. At shortstop, Florida's Hanley "Hanley, Hanley" Ramirez takes home his second consecutive, while Derek Jeter continues to pile up 2010 post season awards with his fourth Silver Slugger. Over at the hot corner, two SS newbies take the Silver Slugger, as they did the Gold Gloves, Tampa Bay's Longoria and Washington's Zimmerman. Out in the outfield, in the National League, Milwaukee's Ryan Braun gets his second straight while two young Dodger stars, Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier both get their first. In the American League, Seattle's Ichiro takes his third trophy, and known glovesman, L.A. Angel's Torii Hunter gets his first, as does Boston veteran Jason Bay.

Congratulations to all winners, but most especially our Phillies! Great work boys!

Bobby is a Phillie!

Here's the story so far. We at Madison Underground Press support the nation of Israel and the Philadelphia Fightin' Fuckin' Phils! My man Bobby Campbell has a series of pieces on playoff notables that I hope continues to expand!

Top Ten Reasons to Watch the World Baseball Classic

Starring Jimmy Rollins!

Jimmy Claus, #11

Here's an MLB Special Report by Bonnie Clark.

PHILADELPHIA -- Phillies shortstop Jimmy Rollins sat down and answered a few questions about Christmas memories that he holds near and dear.

MLB.com: What are you looking forward to most this Christmas?

Rollins: I am giving a PAL family -- a mother and her four kids -- Christmas this year. I heard that they weren't going to have a Christmas since the mother is out of work, so I'm going to change that and play Jimmy Claus. I'm really looking forward to seeing the kids' expressions when they get the gifts.

MLB.com: What's your favorite Christmas tradition?

Rollins: Well, it used to be my grandma's peach cobbler, but now it's definitely my mom's apple pie a la mode. It's got to be warm, you know when the ice cream melts on top of the pie. Christmas this year just won't be the same without my mom's apple pie since I'm not going back home to have it.

MLB.com: Do you still believe in Santa?

Rollins: Oh my goodness, yes! Wink, wink.

MLB.com: Have you been good or bad this year?

Rollins: Oh, um, I've been on both sides of the fence this year, but mostly I've been good. Although I didn't run out a popup.

MLB.com: What's the best gift you've ever gotten?

Rollins: There were a couple in my younger days. When I was like 8 or 9 it was my aqua-colored Cycle Pro bike. My second favorite was a remote-control car. My best adult gift was the Nikon D80 camera that Johari -- Ms. Claus -- gave me.

MLB.com: What's your favorite holiday movie?

Rollins: Wow -- definitely "A Christmas Story." My favorite part is when his tongue gets stuck on the flag pole. I also like when his father gets the lamp. My second favorite is the original "Home Alone" movie, especially when he shaves.

MLB.com: How many of Santa's reindeer can you name?

Rollins: Rudolf. ... Everyone knows Rudolf. ... Um, Dancer, Prancer, that's about it. You get to a certain age when you don't have to remember them anymore.

MLB.com: What gift would you get for Charlie Manuel?

Rollins: Rosetta Stone.

MLB.com: Ryan Howard?

Rollins: Definitely golf lessons. He's a terrible golfer.

MLB.com: Shane Victorino?

Rollins: I'd get him his own SMU (special makeup) cleats. He always steals mine. He's definitely worthy of his own now.

MLB.com: Do you shop early or wait til Christmas Eve?

Rollins: I always wait until the last 72 hours. In fact, I still have to get Johari a Garmin GPS.

Vote Handsome Dick Manitoba/Jimmy Rollins in 2008!

In our current two party system, the choice is obvious. One must vote Democrat this year. Not only does McCain represent the same policies that have torn our country apart over the last eight years, we also stand at the crux of history in which we can protect American's rights with a vote for Obama, or set up the series of events to rob us of said rights with a vote for McCain. With that being said, I have a soft spot for third party candidates, and one ticket running this year really caught my eye, really speaks to me and for me. The ticket is the one you've been hearing about from the alternative media, that's right Handsome Dick Manitoba/Jimmy Rollins in 2008!! I was lucky enough to attend the convention held at Manitoba's bar in Manhattan, NY. Rollins made abrief statement about being the "ticket to beat" and called winning all fifty states before yielding the floor to Manitoba. Here is the transcript of his acceptance speech for the presidential nomination.









Manitoba starts out by responding to those critics who question his and his V.P.'s qualifications for the most powerful positions in the free world as a legendary punk rocker and tavernist and the most sabermetrically sound short stop in modern baseball.

Who's that boy with the sandwich in his hand? You won't miss me, even though you can. He could make a dead dog laugh, and watch me kick my mother on her ass. He's no boy and yet he ain't no man. He don't know what he's gonna do. In three years, I'm gonna be fifty-two. All his friends think he's great. He's their favorite degenerate. You might say he's just too crazy for you. You can bet that he's no Mickey Mouse. Give me an hour, and I'll destroy your house. Eatin' eggs all day long, sleepin' with the TV on. He looks just like you, turn him inside out.

Then a quick statement of brand and a dig at the competition.

I am a pilgrim looking for danger. I am an outlaw, I am a stranger. I'm just a clown walking down the street. I think John McCain is a creep. I need a girl, I need release.

Then Mr. Manitoba focused in on the issues, telling us exactly why he'd best suited for the job.

Talk, talk, talk, talk, keeps getting in the way. Speaking as a young artiste who has so much to say. So now you know my situation, understand my aggravation, building up so strong inside, cause I wanna make some noise. I can play faster and louder. I can dance faster and louder. I can live faster and louder. I'm a man faster and louder. I can scream faster and louder. I can jive faster and louder. Walk the dog faster and louder. Mow the lawn faster and louder. Jump back jack! Faster and louder. Get down Bernice! Faster and louder. Hot Pants!

So tell me pretty baby, are you still talking bout yourself? You're such a non-conformist, just like everybody else. And if you had a heart, tell me would you use it? And if you had a thought, I think you'd confuse it. And if you understood exactly what I'm saying, would you have the common sense to kiss my ass? Cause I am right. I am right. I am right. I am right.I'd like to take your ego and crush it into a little ball. And then I'd take my baseball bat and knock it over the center field wall. Cause if you had a soul, I think you would sell it, and if you had a life, you'd serve your time in hell. Justice can be sweet, power is corrupting, so it would be my pleasure to have you kiss my ass. Cause I am right. I am right. I am right. I am right.And if there was a god, I think she'd give her blessings to every dirty deed, I would be confessing.So before I knock on heaven's door please grant my last request. Would you be so kind as to kiss my ass? Cause I am right.

Hippies are squares with long hair, and they don't wear no underwear. Country Rock is on the way. I don't want music, I want pain. Dictators can swing. Make you dance and sing. Cause no oil spill. You don't know us, but you will! We're the members of the master race. Got no style, and we got no grace. Sleep all night, sleep all day. Nothing good on t.v. anyway. Gasoline shortage won't stop me now, Oh no!We've reached a higher spiritual plain, that is so high, I can't explain. We tell jokes to make you laugh. We play sports so we don't get fat. We can sweat and stink. We can eat and drink. Don't do what we're told. And we're scared of growing old! We're the members of the master race. We don't judge you by your face.First we check to see what you eat, then we bend down and smell your feet.

Mr. Manitoba then goes on to discuss some of his constituents and the financial problems they've been facing under the Republican administration.

Benny got a new tattoo down at the St. Mark's Zoo. He walked down to the park, drinkin 40's till it's dark. Talkin to a grey haired man in a tye-dyed shirt and ragged pants. He said, "That's where the hippies used to play. Down on Avenue A." Susie got a new pair of shoes. Now she don't know what to do. So she's sitting in the Park, smokin' pot till it's dark. Talking to a toothless man with spiky hair and leather pants. He said,"I knew Stiv in the day. And that's where the junkies used to play. Down on Avenue A." When every memory is gone, and everything you know is wrong... Takin' the edge off on a beautiful day, with a Frappacino and a creme brulee. Yeah, it's all over when you see a Range Rover, and to my bodega, I say, "hasta luega." It's not what you do, it's what you say. And it's not who you know, it's who you pay down on Avenue A.

Smoking marijuana, watching channel five. Got to get my strength up in this struggle to survive. Everyone's an asshole. Everyone's a creep. I look out my window and there's garbage in the streets. I live in the city, I breathe dirty air. I ride trains with b-boys, junkies, queens and squares.Everybody's hungry and don't know what to do. I used to live on pizza, now I live on Chinese food. I can't stand my neighbors screaming all the time. If I wasn't blasting "Sister Ray" I could lose my mind. I live in the city. I breathe dirty air. I ride trains with b-boys, junkies, queens and squares.Safely someone's smiling, the fat man waits his turn. Soon he'll count his money while the south Bronx slowly burns. Get out for the children. Get your ass and run. Get out of this stinkin mess. To a safe suburban slum.

Oh Weekend, Benny took downs in class. The principal found his stash, his mother's gonna get his ass.Oh Weekend, In his room he'll stay. Dreamin when he's king he'll say, "Everyday is Saturday!"Oh Weekend, Bobby is a local punk. Cuttin school and getting drunk, eating at McDonald's for lunch.Oh Weekend, soon he threw up in the store. But if he does it anymore, I'll make him eat it off the floor.

Finally Mr. Manitoba focuses in on the only issue greater than freedom of choice.

I fall to my knees and look to the sky. Who will save rock and roll? Murray The K is not here today, so who will save rock and roll? Every protest singer, every guitar slinger, every punk rock sinner sells his soul.My generation is not the salvation, so who will save rock and roll? I saw The Stooges, covered with bruises. Who will save rock and roll? Every mercenary, three chord revolutionaries, choose your side and choose it well. June 1st, 67 something died and went to heaven. I wish Sgt. Pepper never taught the band to play.

You say you wanna rock and make it to the top? You gotta look good and you gotta act tough. You don't know what to do, I'm givin you a clue, so you can be the next Supreme Rock Dude.

I can go anywhere, people look and people stare. They all know that I'm the one, not to let your son become. What I want to do I do, who I want to screw I screw. Playin' in a heavy band, guess I'm just a Two Tub Man.I drink Pepsi Cola for breakfast. I've got Hilary Clinton in my pants. I'm never gonna watch channel 13, edjumacation ain't for me.

So he's a little soft on the education issue, but still the most interesting candidate in this very interesting race. And if you like extremism and mavericks (Republicans) than write in your vote for Manitoba/Rollins in '08!